May Flowers always line your path and Sunshine light your day…Excerpt from an Irish Blessing
If I had to choose just one word to describe May, I would say it has has been an erratic month. I have been very productive, I have indulged in too much shopping and my energy and I have been all over the place.
The emotional upheaval is actually not dissimilar from last year, with the glaring difference that I am not planning a wedding. Today, May 31st marks my first year of marriage, I’m unsure as to how i feel about this. I seem to be revisiting all the life-altering emotions that I was experiencing last year. Once again, I have found myself questioning what I want and reminding myself why I want it.
And like many of you this month brought about a sense of being overwhelmed with the situation at hand. Honestly it’s a bit crazy, getting married didn’t feel half as life altering as not being able to see friends and family. During March and April the feeling of being overwhelmed didn’t really have time to settle. I was very much fascinated by the newness of being able to put all my energies toward my blogging future and although I was very much worried and aware of the crisis, I kept thinking, we will get through. But, The news have all been heavy, continued racism, covid-19, murder, loss of jobs, loss of family, etc. The feelings just don’t stop. Really, they shouldn’t stop, we need to reflect, and process the feelings, not just bury them. This is what I’ve been trying to accomplish, processing
May, has been about processing, exploring and reflecting on these feelings. This of course has meant a lot of Kitchen crafting. I don’t know about you, but I can’t process feelings without food. So this month I focused on cooking a lot of comforting foods, brownies , donuts, puertorican recipes (arroz con garbanzo, carne guisada…) bread, Guacamole… and surrounding myself with things that bring me joy. This included, painting the kitchen cabinets… ouch. Our cabinets used to be a very dark brown, nearly black and it just made a dark kitchen, darker. Now they are a dusty blue that makes both our kitchen and me so much happier!
Through all this therapeutic baking, cooking, eating and listening to the Live Awake Podcast (S04 Feeding the heart) , I was able to reflect on just how lucky I am. It all started with “What do you love?” A simple question. Answer it with me. I love hot showers after a hard days work, listening to the wind blowing the leaves, the first sip of my tea, the feel of yarn running to my fingers as I crochet, and so many other things.
So, like the podcast asked of me, I ask of you, What do you love?